The Real Life

Experiencing a paradox in life real time space wob makes me write it.. i used to mock the ‘BEFORE’ AND ‘AFTER’ pictures in the telly adds thinking its fake.. but life mocked at me teaching me a lesson of lifetime..
Yes, Frustrated I am as u must be thinking after reading the beginning..
My mistake as my parents think is I fell in Love.. belonging to a conservative Indian family doesnt give me the right to select my life partner which turned my life upside down.
Anyways, now that i have given up on my ‘life’ as i call it.. i loved my life.. i loved to talk.. i loved my job..i loved to roam around alone.. although a skinny skeleton i am, despite this, i loved to eat and sleep..
Wish that stupid fellow didnt call my parents and i would have lived my life.. In a way, what happened was for my good..But just because i commiitted the mistake of loving someone , I lost my Before….

Sitting jobless at Home in a small town gives me so much leisure that i spent past two months depressed foodless crying shouting in thinking how to rise again.. Broken as i am my nerves have stopped all connection to the superb brains i once had.. I see my parents perform their daily chores and once in a while talk with them to let them feel loved. But instead what i am get is the constant reminder of my so called mistakes.. today i stayed alone in a room for one whole hour and commiitted the mistake of this millenium as per my mom.. yes, this is my After ..
this is just another example of what happens with me atleast 5 times a day..
An engineer by profession, i am constantly lookin for what i can do to uplift my mood or may be keep myself occupied for atleast sometime in the day..
Social networking is hypothetically banmed for me by my beloveds as i am gonnu disappear into my phone if i interacted with my friends..
Anyways i take this as a bad experience which taught me many good things of life..

anyways, sharing all this just to get suggestions from u wise people to how to cope up with this sheer frustration.. looking for that ray of sunrise in a place where everything seems to be nothing but black….looking forward to a positive new start in life..